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If Jeremy Corbyn wins the election, blame Pippa Middleton!

The happy couple: Pippa Middleton and James Matthews
The happy couple: Pippa Middleton and James Matthews Credit: Getty Images / Samir Hussein

All hail the Middleton and Matthews families, who today club together to give the nation what it so needs during this time of Brexit and election tomfoolery: a good old-fashioned wedding.

Pippa, daughter of Carole and Michael Middleton and sister of the Duchess of Cambridge, will marry James, son of David and Jane Matthews and brother of a man who was once banned from going into the I’m A Celebrity jungle because he was on steroids.

The bucolic Berkshire village of Bucklebury will play host to 300 guests and the world’s press, all eager to catch a glimpse of the woman who captured the nation’s hearts (and, in certain cases, loins) when she walked down the aisle at her sister’s wedding in a fetching bridesmaid’s dress.

With very little going on elsewhere in the world, the media have been forced to mine this wedding for umpteen column inches (this column included, obviously).

Will the bride...

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